No more bullshit in blogs…

September 16, 2006

You know I just realised most blog posts sound like this:

“OMFG dude today was so cool. like this morning after i went to mike’s place we met shirley and we totally hung out at radisco’s. and you know how that is. man i wish i had bill gates’ money… that’d be rad! oh and i feel so alone now like you know we’re travellers in this boat man”

…and so on. Which is total bullshit if you ask me. Not only do we not know (or fuckin care) who mike and shirley are but we have no idea what radisco’s is. Or what in God’s name one can do there… and then starts the bitching, i chose to exemplify money here, but you can choose your pick from over 100 different cliches from “why can’t i be that thin?” to “dude why doesn’t that chick wanna do me?”. The answer is easy, because you’re fuckin retards writing blogs all day. Fuckin get outta here, go do something interesting. And of course not bullshit blog is worth even mentioning unless it contains a daily dose of shitcan philosophy. Be it life, the universe or god himself, they always find new ways to say absolutely fuckin nothing…

So I decided to start my own blog with zero tolerance to that shit. Besides the fact that i do want to examine other blogs and find all that crap, i’d like to give an example of how a blog should sound:

Yahoo is moronic; today i was searching for a way to sell my stuff on the street (google is unreachable until my isp’s isp figures a way out to it, i recommend sticking a lan wire up their ass and see if they reach google that way) and what it returned was “gay laws, drugs being sold on the street, and children killing you on the street with…”. Like how fucked up is that…? what is this, psycho killing for dummies?

Now that’s my kind of a reader’s digest. Oh, and smileys. Jesus you people use a lot of smileys, ranging from simple x and o signs to complex representations of plants and animals. (like 3:-0 for a cow and @>-‘- for a rose). With chat clients and websites all accepting photos and all that would’t it be easier to send a picture of a cow instead. Or fucking say “you’re a cow michelle” not a wimpy “michelle you’re a 3:-0”. What the fuck is it? Retarded clown day?…

With that i end my daily broadcast and insert a little plug for all the ladies out there who have pimped out myspace or hi5 accounts and have only understood from my post the words fuck shit and maybe the photo (which apparently i can’t post right now). Until next time, stay not so fucked up will you.

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